Coolness

Ed was here for our usual Wednesday session. He shared the following with Emily.

“About one year ago, when I was really in trouble. My life was in a mess. The Korean monk that I meditated with did not return. My fear, anger and loneliness are out of control. My whole body was heated up. I was worried and hestitated when I found you on the net
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Then I came to have a talk with Donald.

As I was explaining what I was doing through for a short while, I felt this coolness coming from Donald and almost immediately, my heated sentiment was cooled down. I knew then, this was what I was looking for.”

Ever since that day, Ed has been coming to our meditation session. He rises at 4:30am. Does motion Chan for half an hour and sitting Chan for another 30 minutes. All his addictions, anxiety attacks are under control. But he still managed to have “less unhappiness” and has not said that he is “happy” yet.

As to my “coolness” which Ed felt, I have felt nothing. I have no idea what Ed was talking about. I am glad that the life force of the universe manifested through me. If it did, I am grateful for both of us.

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Joy

At yesterday’s session, I shared my understanding of some of the history of our linage, our Master, our school. There was nothing related to what we could become or about enlightenment.

At the end of the session, Shilo told me that she felt so joyful and so happy. She did not know why.

I congratulated her to be able to connect with the present life force with her Inner Self instead of with words or concept with her mind.

Life force as an energy form is ominpresent. It is always joyful and providing without prejudice. All we have to do is to connect to it by surrendering our ego.

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Russian Ridge

When the was plane circulating on top of San Jose trying to land, my heart felt swollen at the center. Not a discomfort like those I felt from my father, but a hollow, swollen and pumped feeling.

Chin An came over to meet me at the airport. He was my roommate at Berkeley 40 years ago. He did all the cooking and I washed all the dishes. He was still is quite a cook.

At night after dinner, on my call to Emily, I told her of my condition. We both know I have no heart problem. We both know something is happening to someone, but we don’t know who or where or when.

Next morning, I had breakfast with my kid sister. She is a devoted Roman Catholic. We talked about our similarities all the time. While we were having Chinese Soy Milk and Baked Chinese Croissant, I noticed the same condition in my heart of yesterday. I also mentioned to her, but she did not respond with any indication that she has any problems herself.

After breakfast, Chin An and put on our hiking shoes and visited Russin Ridge situated on the west side of Stanford University. It was a beautiful hike as always. I always enjoyed the 90 minute hike here. From top of the ridge, we can see the entire southern part of San Franscisco Bay. It is breath taking every time, whether there is cloud or no cloud.

As I was wearing my newly bought hiking shoes from Big 5 Sports, we marched uphill around 10 am. It was later than most of the previous times of our hike. It was hotter than usual. Chin An complained on how hot he felted while we were walking through the Old Oak Path.

Finally, two sweaty guys reach the highest point after about one hour. We took out our water bottle, quenching down our thirst and enjoying the scenary. I was so taken by this view every time. I glanced right and left and lost in its beauty.

Suddenly, I heard a loud bang. There is Chin An, laying down in front of me on the ground with face up. “Hey, are you tired or what?” I asked him. There was no response. I noticed that he was trying to get up but failed. So I just help him to sit up against a rock about the size of a stool.

As soon as I let go of my hands, he started to fall again. So I immediately hold him tight and lowered him to sit on the ground.

Five minutes later, he said, “Boy, what happened to me. While I was watching the view, the next thing I know was that I was on the ground.”

I realized that he has just fainted.

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Father’s Heart

My father’s heart has arrhythmia and very weak. He said, “God is very fair. I got mad too many times while I was young. So my heart stopped to support me now.”

Every time, when I was near him, I can feel the upper left side of my heart beats irregularly.

Summer of 2006, Jack invited me to goto Vegas with our father. On the way back home, I dropped Jack and father near the curb of the airport first, so that father does not have to walk too far. Then I drove away to return the rental car. I have purposefully booked a later flight, because I was flying into another airport in OC.

I have learned from Jack that they are flying into LAX and I should look for them at the gate to LAX.

After returning the rental, I then learned that gate seven is the gate, from which they should be leaving. So I walked and walked. While I was passing gate five, upper left corner of my heart started to beat up. I said to myself, “I am getting close to my father now. Wow. Amazing.” I was surprised at such connection.

To my surprise, after I arrived at gate seven, father is not there. Nor is Jack. I called Jack’s mobile phone and asked. He said, “Oh, we decided to fly to Burbank all of a sudden. So we are now at gate five now.”

I am humbled and grateful for all these..

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Ken’s Chilliness

It was probably May of 2006, Tracy introduced Ken to our meditation session in Walnut. Ken is a CPA in his fifties. Short and somewhat fat. He sat right in front of me in the session and Joy sat on the front left of me.

10 minutes into the meditation, I begin to feel chillness coming from Ken. I have not had this kind of experiences before. I tried to sense whether there was anything coming from Joy on his left. No. Joy felt normal. But Ken’s chillness still came at me. I have no idea what it meant.

At the end of the session, after Ken left, I asked Tracy how was Ken’s health. He replied, “Not so well. I guess. But I don’t know more details.”

About one month later, Tracy called and informed me, “Ken just had a stroke in his head and he was just picked up by an ambulance.”

Oh, God. I felt so sad. If I had known that “chilliness” equates to a stroke, I would have informed Ken way back then. It is so sad.

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Resonance

Time passes by so fast, I just discovered that I have not written anything for over 6 months.

Since January 2006 by accident, I begin to sense the discomfort of others, right side of the head of L, cold right arm of L, left knee of J, upper chest of J, stuffed heart of M, liver of A, etc.

Though this is not the objective of Zen, but I realized that there is a commonality of us all.

Worst case was the a very “cold” K sitting in front me, whom I met for the first time. Then a month later, I was informed that he suffered from a stroke.

I reminded myself that next time I better speak out.

I am grateful that I can actually discover the discomfort first. I hope one day, I can actually do something about it.

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Chilling Arm and Thumb

It was during a regular English meditation session at my house on a Wednesday night. I remember I was sitting near he restroom.

Then Lynn came in and walked toward me. She said something like she needed to sit closer to me or something. Out of the blue, my entire left arm became chilling.

I asked what happened to you. Emily immediately replied trying to save her from the embarrasement, “She came from the hospital. The nurse shot her arm wrong. So many of the blood vessels in her right arm were destroyed.” Hm, no wonder I felt the chill in my left arm.

Then a month later, during a session at Tracy’s house on Sunday, my right thumb started to swell. It felt like swollen and somewhat painful. I can not understand how could I feel such unique sensation in the middle of a meditation session.

While we were driving home, I suddenedly remembered that, due to the wrong injection, Lynn’s right thumb was damaged. Immediately I asked Emily to call Lynn and find out whether her right thumb was in pain.

She said, “yes.”

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